"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."

Friday, August 25, 2006

Day 81: Letter From A Friend

My touchy-feely friend, Paul, sent me this yesterday, and rather than strain my brain to come up with something new today I thought I'd pass it along.


Just read your last two blogs. Nothing like hearing someone say you should be happier to make you feel like saying, "thanks so much and fuck you." My only response to this is a quote I once saw on a t-shirt, "whatever the question, the answer is love" and to also say that all someone can do sometimes is to keep getting up off the canvas after life smacks you in the head (and that can just as easily come from within rather than the outside world).

So happiness is like a new muscle you've never exercised before, you start with one rep and gradually move up. Some people are never going to be one of those cheery, ain't life grand types and have to settle more for contentment and equanimity and that may only come in fleeting moments. For me, I'm looking more for peace than happiness, a kind of even-keeled neutrality that allows me to experience both life's highs and lows, without getting overly excited about the former and overly depressed about the latter. That's why meditation appeals to me, it helps me clear the decks and focus on the moment, which as long as I'm above ground, is a much easier place to live than the past or future. It's also why exercise is a good outlet, it gets me out of my head and into my body (not to mention the group sex and crack parties).