Day 56: Rick's Cineplex

Yesterday was one of those days I just didn't want to do anything. So I watched movies. Six, to be exact -- In Good Company, The Dead Pool, Hostage Negotiator, Whirpool, Kill By Inches, and Hatred Of A Minute. The best by far was Whirlpool, a 1959 film noir gem directed by one of my all time favorites, Otto Preminger. The worst was Hostage Negotiator, a made-for-cable snoozer from 2001.

I bring this up to point out one of the things I like about being single. I can do anything I want. How many women out there, really, would be okay with their husband or boyfriend sitting around in his shorts all day -- and I literally mean "all day" -- watching old movies? I can also spend my money however I want. I can buy 400 DVDs in a week without having anybody yell at me, or question my sanity, or try to make me feel guilty.

Also, I'm drawn to movies that most women just don't like -- hard-edged films of questionable moral value. For instance, I just discovered a brilliant independent film called Red Cockroaches, that I absolutely love. But every woman I've ever gone out with (or married) would not only hate this film, but would think that there was something seriously wrong with me for liking it.

Bottom line is: when nobody's around, they can't get close to you, so they can't climb on your back, so you'll never have to ask them to get the fuck off of it, so they won't have their feelings hurt, so you won't have to interrupt your movie long enough to apologize, so you won't grow resentful for not being able to do what you want, so she won't pout all night, so you won't break up, so you won't be alone, so you won't have to sit around all day watching old movies.