Day 32: Looking Stupid

Went to my first dance class tonight. Mixed results. At one point I really wanted to walk out, and might have if I could have done so discretely. They kept moving on to a new step before I'd learned the last one. In retrospect, my reaction was kind of interesting. I had the feeling -- almost the certainty, really -- that the instructors were inept, that they were moving too fast, asking too much of us. Because I was having so much trouble learning what they were showing us, it had to be their faults. It couldn't be me -- I'm a bright, talented guy. And the fact that others in the class didn't seem to be having that much trouble catching on didn't deter me from this feeling.

Making it even worse, we had to keep changing partners, until every woman in the class knew how developmentally impaired I was. I was never in sync with any of them. They were doing the East Coast Swing -- I was having a spazz attack.

There was a moment, though, toward the end of the class, when for a brief moment I got it, when the movements became natural, and I actually started having fun. It made me wonder how many other things in life I've missed out on because I was too damned proud to look stupid in front of somebody.