"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."


Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Day Nine: All's Well That Begins Well

The people putting together the documentary on this project are a little concerned that things are going so well for me. I think they hoped I would hate the "process," especially in the beginning. That way the juxtaposition between me now and me at the end of the film would be much greater.

Well, tough titties. I'm loving it!

My caloric intake has plummeted from 4,500 a day to around 2,500. I've even devised a way to get it down to 1,500. I'm meeting with my nutritionist today to see if that would kill me. I'm walking, stretching and exercising every day. And though I don't love that, I think I've come a long way in simply not dreading it.

My ex-wife told my kids that I would only go to yoga about three times, then give up. So I'm going to keep at it the rest of my life. Take that, you bitch! As it turns out, nothing promotes spiritual cleansing more than spite.

I've also come to realize that much of my depression was caused by the shame I felt about the way in which I was conducting my life. Eating nothing but crap, sitting around all day watching TV, not cleaning the house or showering, isolating myself from everybody, wallowing in self-pity. Do that for a couple of years and you become paralyzed by self-loathing.

Having gone from there to here in only ten days makes me -- dare I say it -- happy. And, I have to admit, a bit proud.