"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."

Friday, June 16, 2006

Day 11: A Cry For Help

Though the Happiness Project has so far made some significant improvements in my mood (I actually feel happier), it has yet to flood other areas of my emotional landscape. For some reason I had just assumed that if I got happier my anxiety level would lessen. Hasn't happened. Yesterday, for example, I started watching the movie "Hitch." At one point it became clear that the woman Will Smith was interested in was going to mistakenly believe that he had committed this really heinous act. And even though I knew he would eventually be exonerated, I had to turn it off. I just couldn't take it.

I still haven't done my taxes from last year. I have most of the forms and information ready to go, but I just can't get it together enough to fabricate the rest of my financial lies and occupational half-truths and send everything off to my accountant. Even sitting here writing about doing my taxes fills me with anxiety.

So I ask myself, how do I fix this? How do I bring my anxiety down to an acceptable level without the use of drugs or the manipulative ramblings of some touchy-feely, over-priced therapist? Could it be that not having sex for three years has somehow backed up my system? Clearly, masturbation doesn't work. Does the secret lie in acupunture and Chinese herbs? Could it have something to do with my being an immature cry-baby addicted to weakness, attention and self-pity?

Hey, you tell me.

If anybody out there has any concrete, real-life suggestions for me about lowering my anxiety level, please leave them in the comments section below. It would be hugely appreciated.