"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."


Saturday, April 15, 2006

A Spiritual Panic Room

When we were little, our parents, and society, and especially our church began building this little sanctuary in our brains that I call the “religion room.” And in this room they instilled a bunch of beliefs, like Noah’s ark, the virgin birth, and "guns are good," that are unassailable by empirical data.

The cool thing about this room is that when demons such as “the fear of death” or “the pointlessness of existence” come to call, you can use it as a kind of spiritual panic room. As soon as you run into it, these thick doors slam shut, and nothing can get at you. Doubt and Fear just stand outside, pounding on the door screaming, “You’re going to get old and die! There’s nothing you can do about it! Life has no meaning! It’s totally pointless! Professional wrestling is fixed! Do you hear me? It’s all an act!”

And you’re just sitting in there, eatin’ pork rinds, watching “Little House On The Prairie,” without a care in the world.