"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."

Monday, March 20, 2006

Yellow Ribbons

I get angry every time I see one of those “Support Our Troops” ribbons on the back of a car. I’m not supposed to say that, of course, because it implies that I don’t support our troops. And, in a way, that’s the point.

Only the most vile, cold-hearted American would not support the young men and women of this country fighting and dying on that foreign soil. When you put one of these ribbons on your car, do you really think you’re differentiating yourself from anybody? Why not put on a sticker that says “I think that sex is not only fun, but necessary for the continuation of the species?”

What a “Support Our Troops” ribbon really says is that you consider yourself a good-hearted, noble American. It’s a self-righteous slap in the face to everybody who doesn’t sport such a sticker. Either that, or you’re just a moron who actually believes that you’re making some kind of bold statement.

There is another possibility, though. You may be saying that you support this administration’s decision to go to war. But you don’t have the guts to just come out and say that, so you hide behind our troops instead.

So which is it? Are you self-righteous, egotistical, stupid, or just a coward?

(If you said "All four," congratulations!! You’re a perfect candidate to run for president in 2008!!)