Jihad

I envy that fierce conviction that Muslims have. There's not a lot of comfort in believing that when you die it's over, and that eventually even the memory of your struggle to overcome your childhood, to understand yourself, to find some small measure of happiness on this tiny rock hurtling through space will be lost to eternity. Doesn't quite have the same ring as "living in Paradise with 72 virgins and everlasting happiness."

You know who I feel sorry for, by the way? The widow of a Jihad suicide bomber. Not only is her husband dead, he's off screwing virgins! That can't make her happy! He walks out the front door with a bomb strapped around him, and turns to her and says, "Honey, I know one day you'll join me in Paradise, but please, take your time!"