"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."

Monday, August 01, 2005

The Golden Rule Plus™

For me, one of the big problems with organized religions, like Christianity, is that they’re all about trying to make people “good.” The Church of Rick would be about making people happy. About a year ago I sat down and tried to think of all of the things in my life that have brought me real happiness over the years. I’m not talking about little pleasures like eating Doritos, or watching TV, or seeing my friends fail. I’m talking about the things that really made me hum. And I realized that they all had this one thing in common. They were all about doing the right thing.

The reason Cooper and Jack bring me so much happiness is that I can’t help but do the right thing where they’re concerned. The lure of pleasure never gets in the way of my doing what’s best for my boys. So, the basic doctrine of the Church of Rick would be the Christian Golden Rule. But with a little twist.

My best friend Dave is always telling me that I don’t love myself, so I don’t treat myself nearly as well as I should, which I’ve come to discover is actually a very common problem. So, our Golden Rule would be: “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you, and do unto yourself as you would do unto others.”