"I guess I have a lot of problems, so many that I don't have time to go into them all in detail. Suffice it to say I'm anal, obsessive, vain, quick to temper, overly introspective, lazy, judgmental, insecure, and self-righteous. Probably the most annoying thing about me is that I'm hugely opinionated. But I kind of make up for that by always being right."

Friday, July 29, 2005

Secular Humorists

Basically, I see church services going like this: Every Sunday the “Head Honcho” would come out and open with a 15-minute monologue, which should be thought-provoking, inspirational and -- this is very important -- funny. There’d be a lot of laughter in this religion.

It’s always bothered me that the names for people who don’t believe in God have such a negative, almost ominous, sound to them. Cynic. Agnostic. Atheist. In the Church of Rick, we’d change all that by referring to our members as “secular humorists.” We’d even have our own little slogan: “Laughing all the way to hell.”

Anyway, after the Head Honcho’s monologue, we’d sing songs. That’s what I miss most about going to church, by the way –- singing with people. Where else in life, besides ball games and birthdays, do you get to do that? [More...]